Originally I thought that we were going to start after our vacation, but now we won't be starting the real part of the IVF until about 2 weeks after we get back. AHH! That means birth control for two months, not a little over one. I am not a fan of birth control. I have met people and several 'friends of friends' who have had serious life-threatening issues due to birth control. There are at least 4 that I know of. That is 4 too many in my book. Birth control can cause clotting issues and you can be especially vulnerable if you have a certain gene that makes you susceptible to clotting. However you are not ever tested for this gene before being given birth control!!

Anywho, I am not as conerned about the two extra weeks as I am about my stress levels. I feel that I would be the most relaxed right after we return from vacation. Now, it will be two weeks after. There is a big event at work that is happening right around then. We had thought about postponing IVF until after this event, but honestly, it is so unpredictable. It could move by a few days, weeks, or even months. I didn't want to put my life on hold because of that. Now, if the project continues along the current timeline, everything will be right on top of each other. I am going to do my best to relax, and we will probably go and get massages once a week or so.

I have been reading about how other women prepare themselves for IVF and many go the acupuncture route. I am a little hesitant on this. I have nothing against holistic medicine, I just don't know enough about it. I don't feel that this is the time to learn, as that process can be stressful.

I just want this all to be done with! I imagine myself finally pregnant and thinking about how I will tell people. I feel that talking about infertility is important. Most of my friends know that we are having issues, however, only several people at work know. Infertility is more common than people realize. I found out during NIAW this year that just as many couples are infertile as women have breast cancer. Now, breast cancer is certainly a more serious, life-threatening disease, but think for a moment how many women you know who have breast cancer? Who will have breast cancer in the future? That is how many people you know now who are living with infertility - whether you know it or not. Think for a minute how many fund-raisers you hear about for breast cancer, how it was once taboo but now is one of the most talked about women's health issue. Infertility should be talked about just as much. It should be taught to society. Not everyone can get pregnant when they want, but that is exactly what we are all taught. If we are going to educate our children about sex and pregnancy, let's be fully honest with them as well. They grow up dreaming of becoming Mothers one day - expecting it to be the one thing in life than can come easily, and it is a complete lie. It is just like everything else, it comes easy to some people, and not to others. They need to be emotionally prepared for this possibility. I wasn't.

I always thought that my life was too perfect, that something was going to happen. I thought that it would come as a child with a disability. While that isn't out of the question yet, it came first as infertility. On top of that came my Dad's accident last year. In two years my whole life has been turned up-side down. My work is affected, my home life is affected, my whole world has been affected. I wish I could have been better prepared - at least for the infertility part. I don't think that anything could have prepared me for the accident last year.